Time, More Time, His Time

Let them sleep, let them sleep, let them sleep. All six children here are sleeping, so instead of using that time productively here I sit to blog. We are all back to health here and back into the swing of things. Looking forward to a weekend away, we are going to a hotel in Niagara Falls for two nights, Friday night without Isaac and Hannah and then all day Saturday and Saturday night with all the children. It is always a fun relaxing get away we do in the winter when the rates are right. The children love the pool and adventure. Mommy enjoys leaving her to do list at home and just having her family to focus on.

With the new year my to do list just seems to grow, there is the house to keep tidy, meals to made, homeschooling material to work on, scrapbooking to do, especially after all the picture taken over Christmas, kids journals to update, and two things I wanted to commit more to is personal devotion time and exercising. But my were do the days go. I am enjoying the children so much, it is wonderful being a Mom, Hannah is really starting to do imagitive play with her dolls, Sarah is sitting on her own and just loves to giggle for her brother and sister. Isaac is a little sponge so inquisitive. Honestly I just need longer days to embrace my little ones in love and prayer.

I long to be a godly Mother to them. I long for healing and growth in my life but I still do feel very stuck and on my own. Not really knowing where to turn. Yet trust God to direct and guide in His time, for it is Him who is my Jehovah-Rapha my provider and His grace is sufficient for me. Oh, but how much better could I be without a wounded heart. I guess it may be my wounds that keep me ground in God or maybe my superwomen, perfectionism may take completely over. Of course only to be wounded again. Oh, but the pain is so great,and the anger, I hate the anger, but how do you deal with it, give it to God but how if I am too vulnerable and afraid to even look at it. In His Time, In His Time, everything will be made beautiful.

Well my to do list is calling and I have a feeling with in minutes, six children also so better go.

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