Abadoned, Alone and Fragile

Another week has flown by. Things are settling down again, now it is just a matter of getting back into routine. It would be nice to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep too. I am finding my patience level with the children is just not where I would like it to be.

I still have so much anger boiling inside not towards the children but towards life and when there is any extra stress in the home it sometimes seeps out. These days my heart really feels broken, and very fragile. Sunday was a hard day, I left Isaac crying in Sunday School, he was with us in church because he didn't want to go to Sunday school which was fine, but then he decided he wanted to go until we got to his classroom. His teacher assured me he would be okay so I left. It just tore my heart though the whole thing about abadonement is such a big issue for me. I am so afraid of my children feeling abadoned, I realize overly so. Any way we both got through it, and as always it was harder on Mommy then child. I am so glad I have a husband who I can express my feelings to and he acknowledges them and respects them. It is also so good to know intellectually that in this abadoned, alone, fragile state of being that God is in control and cares for me and my family.

Anyway better get back to the children had a video on but it's over, a rainy day so we are stuck inside today.



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