Doing better this week things improved on Friday, then it was just a matter of get the house order. During those time all I can do is concentrate on the children. I try to plan special things to do with them, it helps me focus on the blessings of today. I have been busy trying to organize things for September. After Labour Day I get three more part timers for Childcare and I hope to restart my Homeschooling program with Isaac. It is such a joy to see him grow and develop. What a challenge it is to raise these children, I have learned the only way I can get through each day is by starting it in prayer for each child in my care and in trusting them to God and promising to do the best I can for that day in directing them in His ways. Then again at the end of the day, once again I need to intrust them to God or I am unable to sleep out of worry for them. I can easily become overwhelmed at the awesomeness of caring for these gifts from Him. I have a challenge of trusting God with Isaac coming up. In October he needs his tonsils out. I am so afraid for him. Not so much the physical pain he will experience but more what he will experience emotionally. Having grown up with a very wounded heart I am so afraid of my child's heart getting wounded. Though I know they will never experience the pain I did. I am so glad that I can give them over to God and just pray that He will help me care for them as He would and that He will fill the gaps left by my humanness.



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August 26,2004

Another day has passed. It has been a challenging day. My biggest challenge living today with the pain of the past. My life today coundn't be better, mother of three wonderful children, wife of a loving husband. But unfortunately the pain of the past will not leave, and once again this past weekend it has been triggered. Leaving me feeling depressed, angry and alone. So here I start a blogg, a place to share my day it's ups and downs. The joys of today the struggles of the past. Hoping to find some connection with others. Or at least to cross the miles and connect with a long time friend, or as Anne of Green Gables put it a bossom friend. Joyska, I hope this will break down the miles between us for it is this friendship I long for daily. Friendship is so hard to find, a friend who will listen, pray, challenge and encourage. So here I start a blogg in hopes of connecting with a long time friend and maybe creating more.


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